It's Not the Same...

It's not the same w/o you here baby. It's lonely and I miss you a lot right now. You were my BEST friend . I tried to go outside to look at the sky for the stars, hoping that one of them is you, but it's a cloudy night and I couldn't see any :( Every time I walk into a store I am on the lookout for things you might love, but then I realize I can't buy you anything anymore because you're not here anymore. I was looking at George's pictures tonight and he reminded me of you. I wish you were still here to cuddle with to make me feel all better. Jay Jay's looking a bit fluffy without you here too. I think he misses you too. Although he is all too happy to not have to share his treats sometimes :) I got a new gecko. You would've liked it. It's a crested gecko and it is tiny! Oh Samba...I wish you were here. :( I hope you found my dad. I love you!

Perfect

You know when I knew it was over? When I picked up your cute fat short little tail I loved so much and let it drop, but it didn't come back up like it used to. I miss that tail wagging and how it always flipped up when I touched it. It was in that instant I knew I'd never see it again, wagging or not. I tried to memorize how it looked down to each little hair, how it felt and all the times it had welcomed me home, but no matter how much I tried, I knew there was no way I could memorize each little hair on you. When Dr. Ruffing asked me where I would like a lock of hair of you from it was hard to decide. I loved every part of you. I loved the silky velvety smoothness of the fur above your head near your ears, but I also loved the shortness of the fur on your legs. You had these two lighter patches on your shoulder and these lighter and darker hairs on your dorsal stripe. I loved how stiff the hairs were also on your tail and I especially loved your squishy prickly velvety muzzle. Each of your toes were super cute too as well as your cute tiny ears where the very tip, about 1cm, flipped up creating the most perfectly beautiful tulip ears. You were perfect in my eyes, all except for the fact that your little body failed you all too soon. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and how much I miss you. I still expect to see you at the bottom of the stairs when I come downstairs. Jay's tail is getting too plumey without you. :) Life just isn't the same without you little buddy. I wish you could've stuck around. At 3:35pm, 20 mins since I felt the last beat of your heart, I felt your spirit had finally realized that it was no longer part of your earthly body and left. I felt you were at peace and I was glad even though it was tough letting go. It gave me some peace knowing you were ok too.

Always & Forever

I don't know when it is going to stop hurting so much from missing you. It's been a little over two weeks and it feels like forever. The dog park was full of friends today. You would've loved it. It made me sad when people asked me which one of the doggies were mine and you weren't there. :( I think about you every day and almost every minute still. Thank you for being the BEST dog ever! I don't know how any future dogs of mine could ever compare to you. You've definitely broken the mold and taken a piece of my heart with you baby. I'll never be the same again without you. I miss you little buddy, always and forever.

I Miss You

Today I went to the pottery store to see if I could find an urn for your ashes. They didn't have much of a choice so I left... I decided to visit our park and it made me really sad to be going without you. There was nobody in the park. I missed you so badly at that moment. You should've been exploring like you usually do, but it was just me at the park. :( Later a husky/pittie came in. He let me pet him, but he was thirsty. I had no water for him. His daddy didn't even notice! The second time he came by I found him some water. He was so grateful he gave me kisses until I started feeling sad again. No one else came after that so I went home...

I miss you so much Baby Bear. It hurts to think I won't ever see you again. I love you!

1 Week

It's been exactly a week today since we helped you cross over, Samba. I hope you are happy on the other side. It was hard for me to let go, but I knew it was for the best. It was a really tough first few days without you. I expected you to be there where you have always been the past almost six years. It's been a difficult adjustment. I miss you everyday, our daily hugs especially. I saw your happy face today in a poodle puppy today on our walk. I wish you were still here. Please come back and visit me. I'll miss you always Beaners!

Love always & forever,
Mummy

I Love You Baby Bear!

Samba I hope you're not mad at me, but I didn't want you to suffer. You obviously weren't going to get better and it hurt me to see you so sad and ill. I hope you're pain free now and playing with all the other dogs. I can't wait to see you again baby! Be good! I love you. I sure miss you already. The house isn't the same without you.

One More Day

Hi Beaners,

One more day buddy. It's been so hard listening to you. I know you don't want to leave me, but I'll be ok even though I will be very sad without you. Thanks to Jay Jay I heard loud and clear. It won't be long now baby...you will feel better soon. I promise! I love you lots sweet pea. Don't forget that! :)

Mummy

I'm glad you got some sleep today, buddy. You looked so weary this morning. I don't think you slept at all!

It's 2:06am Thursday morning right now and even though I am exhausted worrying about you, I don't want to sleep. I want to hear you snore softly. You don't know how much I love you or how much it hurts me to see you like this, or maybe you do... I'll always love you, but if it is time, go. I'll be ok. I can't say it enough...I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!

P.S. It's been exactly 2,028 days since I first laid eyes on you, told you I loved you & hugged you. You're the BEST Samba! I love you!